Conquering Imposter Syndrome
What it is, why you have it & how to move through it
Introduction to Imposter Syndrome
No matter our industry, experience or earning power, there lies a voice that tells us we’re just a fraud.
Yes, you know it just as well as I do, it’s imposter syndrome.
It’s incredibly real and usually comes to fruition when we start moving towards becoming an authority within our field.
Have you ever thought to yourself;
“I got lucky.”
“I don’t belong here.”
“I’m a fraud, and it’s just a matter of time before everyone finds out.”
Sound familiar? Well, you aren’t alone.
In 2015, a study in the Harvard Business Review asked CEOs to reveal their most deep-seated fears. The clear front runner was the fear of ‘being found to be incompetent’. Further to this, according to a recent study by Kajabi, an industry-leading all-in-one knowledge commerce platform, in 2020, 84% of entrepreneurs and small business owners experience imposter syndrome. The study found that many entrepreneurs were worried about being ‘found out’ for their lack of knowledge or ability, whilst many others believe their success is due to luck.
This meaning, that if you’re reading this, no matter your social status, work background, skill level or degree of expertise, chances you have or will struggle with imposter syndrome at some point in your life.
I certainly did.
My goals were audaciously high, unreasonable one could say, I hoped that people wouldn’t find out about me and along with that I felt the pressure of ‘fake it till you make it’ culture which pushed me to make myself and my start-up company look better than it was.
Whilst an entrepreneur and coach myself, it took me some time to really get to grips with imposter syndrome and how it can impact not only myself but my clients too. Now, in my opinion, whilst it’s unavoidable as a driven entrepreneur, it can be eased. Which is where this article comes into play, giving a detailed introduction to what imposter syndrome is, how it shows up, where it even comes from and how to conquer it.
If this rings a bell, I recommend carving out a few minutes of your day to read through this.
What is imposter syndrome?
By definition, Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved.
In simple terms, you feel as if you’re a phoney.
The term was first used by two psychologists, Suzanna Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, in the 1970s where they conducted interviews with 150 highly successful women who ‘despite their earned degrees, scholastic honours, high achievement… praise and professional recognition’ reported feeling no internal sense of success and considered themselves to be impostors. This term was then called Imposter Phenomenon, since then the concept of IS was introduced, with an original thought of it applying to women, however, since more research into the area has taken place it has been more widely recognised and experienced amongst both men and women.
Whilst feeling like a fraud is one of the most common signs of imposter syndrome, it can also show up in a variety of other ways, which we will later go into, but to be clear you can hold a sense of fear that you won’t live up to your expectations, you may feel motivated but filled with anxiety due to the external pressure (actual or perceived) to ‘do it right’, and often self-doubt.
Whilst imposter syndrome is alive and well amongst most of us, it shows up along a wide continuum that many of us may not even know we are struggling with it.
How does imposter syndrome show up?
You may be thinking… do I have imposter syndrome or is it just a bit of weariness every now and then? Since diving into imposter syndrome I have become more aware of various types that can show up, therefore without further ado, let me introduce to you the Four Types of Imposter.
1. The Perfectionist
Many individuals who experience imposter syndrome can fall under the category of a perfectionist. Now whilst some believe that perfectionism is in fact a good thing, what those fail to realise is that it can actually inhibit your personal growth and stand in the way of achieving your goals.
Perfectionists are never satisfied, they often set themselves outlandish goals (like I once did) and then feel shame, disappointment and resentment when they end up failing. They will find themselves over analysing everything, always feeling that their work and/or life could be better, only honing in on mistakes and where they may have gone wrong.
2. The superhero
The superheroes feel compelling at all times to push themselves to the limit, meaning they work as hard as they possibly can, often ending in burnout. Being busy, whilst ‘smashing their goals’ allows them to suppress the feelings of inadequacy.
3. The expert
The experts are often highly skilled individuals, however, they underrate their own expertise whilst constantly trying to learn more and are hardly ever satisfied with their level of knowledge.
As an expert, you’d more than likely downplay what you have already achieved and will avoid conversations about yourself. However, when found to be in a conversation about your achievements, you’re more likely to say things such as:
- “I was just lucky.”
- “I had a lot of help.”
- “It was somebody else really…”
- “Anyone could do it…”
4. The Avoider
The Avoiders tend to be very individualistic and prefer to not only work alone but also avoid taking on new responsibilities in general. Whilst their self-worth stems from their productivity, they often reject offers of assistance as they see asking for help as a weakness, and have such a deep-rooted fear of failure that they avoid new challenges.
Whilst this is the opposite of perfectionism, it can be characterized by a constant fear of being discovered, it can venture drastically down one route or another, either pushing yourself too far due to the belief you’ll be found out, or refusing to accept support and new opportunities. Either way this vicious cycle will end in fear and damage to your own self-esteem.
Now whilst these four types highlight how imposter syndrome shows up, it’s time for us to take a closer look at where it can stem from.
What causes Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome can stem from a variety of places and unfortunately, there is no single answer, some experts believe it stems from personality traits, whilst others will focus on family and behavioural causes.
When thinking about our upbringing, as with many elements that may arise within our lives, we often have to look at the impact of the environment within our early lives. Imposter syndrome can indeed be an effect of certain experiences in early life, with parents or caretakers possibly placing things like achievements and grades on a pedestal leading to children feeling as if they were never good enough if they didn’t get certain grades. Along with that, if a child is raised with siblings, there may have been sibling comparison that took place, where parenting or caregiving had frequent moving between praise and criticism from one child to another.
These ideas are often internalised and can lead to overworking and other high achieving mentalities in order to belong or to be deemed accepted in adult life.
Of course, as mentioned, our innate personality traits play a significant role too, however, we do have to take into mind that:
“What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.” — Gabor Mate, MD
In a 2015 paper within the Journal of Business and Psychology, the research found that those who showed imposter tendencies were most likely to measure higher on personality traits such as perfectionism and neuroticism, whilst measuring lower on self-efficacy, conscientiousness and organizational citizenship.
Therefore showing that coping mechanisms many of us have created for ourselves over the years, such as perfectionism, do in turn impact how imposter syndrome will show up.
In addition to both upbringing and personality, we must take into consideration the impact of our social and cultural structures and those factors that take place outside of a person. These impacts stem from our environment or even institutionalized discrimination. For example, Impostor syndrome expert Valerie Young, states that “a sense of belonging fosters confidence,” and that the more we surround ourselves with those that may sound like us, the more confident we feel, and on the flip side the more we surround ourselves with those that don’t look or sound like ourselves, the higher the impact on confidence.
In my own professional experience and personal findings from working with both entrepreneurs, executives and influencers, I have found that many of them tend to struggle with imposter syndrome due to the high expectations that others put on them. More often than not, the pressure that is placed upon them does not come from those within their close social circle or even from their family members, in fact, it comes from complete strangers.
An unspoken pressure sits above them due to having presented themselves to their external audience in a particular way, or due to assumptions that others make based on their C-level title, 6-figure follower base and achievements.
All of these elements can come together to form an irrational sense of fraudulence.
Whether you are aware of where your imposter tendencies have stemmed from in the first place, looking at the above reasonings can be a good place to start. However, whilst these causes are well and good, let’s look into how we can move through imposter syndrome for good.
Conquering your imposter feelings
Firstly, I would like to congratulate you on getting this far and respectfully understanding that recognising your own imposter syndrome is often the first and most critical part towards overcoming it. Before we dive into how to conquer these feelings, I would like to point out that the opposite is not one of boasting and self-importance.
Therefore, without further ado, here are nine ways to conquer imposter feelings.
1. Recognize your imposter type
To truly master conquering your imposter syndrome, it all starts with knowing how and when imposter feelings and patterns show up.
With the four types listed above, ensure you have a solid understanding of when your imposter feelings arise whilst becoming aware of how you try to compensate for or avoid confronting the underlying feelings of inadequacy.
The following questions may help you to identify and reflect upon your imposter type.
- What or who may trigger these feelings?
- What do I feel or experience when this happens?
- How do I respond / cope when this happens?
- How is being ‘imposter type’ serving me?
- What does it protect me for?
- How does it impact other(s)?
- What happens if I move away from ‘imposter type’? What do I fear will happen?
- If I knew that I was completely safe from both life & self-esteem threats in this moment, what would my highest-self do differently?
2. Don’t overstay in toxic environments
While we have a role to play in overcoming impostor feelings, it’s important to remember that systems play a significant part, too. The problem isn’t necessarily you; it can also be the culture or people that you surround yourself with.
A great way to analyse this is to ask yourself the following questions to make an assessment of whether this is the right environment for you.
- Do those around you partake in gossip culture frequently?
- Do you view others within your social group being excluded?
- Are the values in which you uphold also held by your social group?
- Do you often see toxic behaviours taking place such as; drug-taking, excessive alcohol consumption, lying etc?
- When noticing these behaviours, do you make excuses for the reason why?
- Do you ever feel uncomfortable due to an unspoken hierarchal chain within your group?
- Do employees/others get humiliated after making a ‘bad decision’?
- Does your group frequently make comparisons to both yourself and others?
If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, you may want to think about the group you spend your time with.
3. Separate feelings from facts
As with all ‘negative’ emotions, one of the best ways to cope with impostor feelings is to address the cognitive distortions contributing to them. Acknowledge your feelings whilst remembering that while feelings are important, they do not necessarily reflect reality.
Once you have acknowledged them it’s time to regulate and observe them, whilst having a counter-response, relating to the facts, such as a powerful statement about yourself or your circumstances, or others forms of evidence that disconfirm your feelings.
You can do this by making a list of your achievements or qualities in that specific area.
4. Invite more rational thinking
Compassion may sound like a new age, pseudo psychological spiritual woo woo trend, however I cant stress it enough;
Have more compassion for yourself.
Firstly, understanding what triggers you and where these behaviours come from will allow you to zoom out from the scenario itself and catch where your imposter syndrome is stepping in. From there, ask yourself how you might support a friend who minimizes their efforts and accomplishments and/or other sabotaging behaviours such as the one you may be experiencing.
Once you can visualise how you would support these friends, make a note of what advice or supportive language you use with them and apply it to your own narration.
When we’re in the midst of imposter syndrome, we aren’t necessarily thinking clearly, therefore when analysing the where and what, you are able to invite more rational thinking into each scenario.
5. Get out of your own mind
A good chat with someone can not only reduce loneliness but also open doors for others to share what they see in you. Be strategic about who you share with, you want this to be a trusted and mature individual.
And when speaking, you will come to a realisation that you are not alone, in fact, many of those individuals share the same or similar feelings as you.
6. Own your accomplishments
Instead of brushing off your success, whether small or big, learn to receive compliments and take time to applaud and celebrate yourself. It can be helpful to have tangible reminders of your success, such as noting down all positive feedback and praise you may have received.
Often those with imposter syndrome will avoid being praised for their accomplishments, learning to develop a stronger internal locus of control (a psychological concept that refers to the extent to which people feel that they have control over the events that influence their lives) will support you in understanding that you accomplishment are the results of your efforts.
7. Avoid comparing yourself with others
Comparing your own life to carefully curated social media profiles is a trap for feeling like you don’t measure up. Similarly, comparing yourself to those around you who may be ‘ahead’, will not only deter you from your own path but will create a feeling of judgment and shame that you have not hit these made-up societal milestones.
Focus on measuring your own achievements instead of holding them up against others’.
8. Reframe failure as a learning opportunity
As I have always believed; Failure only comes when you stay where you have fallen.
Make a list of the failures you wouldn’t want the world to know about and find out the lesson learned. Owning your failures and sharing them with others may help you realize that all of us are ‘failing’ at some point. In fact, failing and making mistakes demonstrates that you’re not afraid to take risks and push yourself to try new things.
See these as learning experiences and use them to your advantage, whilst increasing your resilience by taking risks that you can learn, recover and grow from.
9. Seek professional help
If none of these steps help or are too difficult to implement, there is no shame in seeking professional help. A lot of the time it can take somebody else to see what you may not see, especially when we have been repeating behavioural patterns for years without notice.
Remember, it is okay to not have all the answers yourself.
To Summarise
In summary, imposter syndrome is something that many of us will or already have experienced within our lives, therefore whilst it may be deemed as ‘normal’ there are ways around it.
Whether we like it or not, we are all humans, with fears around failures and inadequacy, however, you are in fact more knowledgeable and more qualified than you believe to be, especially if you are here learning about imposter syndrome.
Whilst imposter syndrome may rear its head from time to time, know that there are ways to move through it, with support on the other side when needed.
And if you’re still with me, I would like to thank you for your time and attention. My hopes are that this article has inspired you to move forward with compassion, curiosity and the knowledge that we are in essence all just seeking to feel good (enough) about ourselves.
All the best,
Jord Cuiper
Footnote: If you have any questions in regards to this article, feel free to reach out to me. Furthermore, I’m just a guy sharing his perspective based on my own experiences, along with the studies and work of believable professionals in the industry. I fully expect that I have made a mistake somewhere in this article, in referencing an idea or tool to the wrong person or not at all. I’ve no intention of taking false credits, so if there’s anything not aligned regarding referencing, please email me at hello@jordcuiper.com
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